we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
did you just send me my own nude
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
