what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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