you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
