I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize