the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
