Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
