a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
