HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Someone came in the potted fern
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize