why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
