You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
