There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
