you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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