My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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