who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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