Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
