Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
