Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
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