I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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