Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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