apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
