Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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