Umm I'm too high to move.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize
