Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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