The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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