There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
