wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
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