U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
