i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
