my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Randomize
