fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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