i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
