Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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