yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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