His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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