he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
