did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
