True but thats because hes a fetus.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
