when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
