is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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