also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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