Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
