everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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