You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
