Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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