wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
That accounts for only three of the penises
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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