just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize