Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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