Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
