Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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