by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
