omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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