omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
