I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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