You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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