I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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