i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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