she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Why is your signature on my underwear?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
